Please, stop the pain
by Shikamaru'sLover01
Summary: This grip loosens but it never breaks.We carry nothing but a name you will forsake. SasuNaru. Rated for Suicide atempt and yaoi
1. Odd smile

-1A/N: Ok its been awhile sense I wrote anything so, sorry if you think this story is pathetic. The lyrics are from the song Survive. And Injection. Sorry for all oocness.

**Naruto's P.O.V.**

_This grip loosens but it never breaks _

_We carry nothing but a name you will forsake  
Your words are always there to break my fall _

_And I might find the comfort to see through it all  
Guide me through unchartered waters  
Before we lose our way again  
Will you be my compass until forever?  
Until forever ends!?  
Knees are weak, hands are shaking, I can't breathe._

I stood up and made my way to the window. Looking out I felt a pang of longing. I could see little kids playing together, happy, carefree. I could see Kiba with Shino and Akamaru playing together. Unburdened, unhated. A little way away from them I saw my unattainable love. Sasuke. My heart skipped a beat.

I watched the man that stole my first kiss (even if it was accidental) and my heart. He sat alone, unusually, even no fan girls surrounded him. He sat, elbows on knees hands in front of his mouth, and he seemed to be scowling a nothing.

I sighed as I watched him, thinking that he was thinking about our practice earlier that day. Even though I loved him with every fiber of my being. I still said such harsh words to him to hide my façade.

I look to the clock on the wall. It told me it was 6:30 pm. I looked back to outside the window, my eyes immediately turned towards my avenger. He was now looking right at me through my window. I sucked in a breath and looked any where but at him. I could feel my blush and could tell my face was red.

All the little kids had now gone home and all the kids in my class were now playing together.

I felt tears tickle behind my eyes. Sasuke suddenly gone from my mind. I couldn't remember a time when I could play so carefree. I couldn't remember a day when I walked down the streets and not had things thrown at me or hatred filled words called at me, a day when I didn't have to put on a happy façade and act as if I was not dead, bleeding, and broken inside.

A tear fell from my eye and I glanced back at Sasuke who was still looking, only now with a confused look on his face. My heart swelled. I turned my back to the window and sat on my bed.

I reached under my pillow and brought out the kunai from under it. For a moment I just looked at it. Old blood stained across the edges. I reached out and pulled the sleeve of my orange sweatshirt up my left arm.

I didn't care. Not tonight. Not right now. I just want it to end. I just want to end it.

I look at my left arm, at all the smallish scars. And I laughed. More tears slip slowly out my eyes.

I pressed the sharp edge against my forearm and I pulled it across with as much force as my shaking hand could manage.

I just want it to end. I am numb to the pain. I don't feel it. Blood gushes out over the kunai and all over my bed.

I smile through the tears coming down my face. I place the kunai over my arm again and with more force I pull the blade again.

It was then that I heard the knock at my door.

Xxx--xxX

_Do you spend your days counting the hours your awake._

_Or when the night covers the sky you find yourself doing the same._

_There's a burden you've been bearing in spite of all your prayers._

_As a light turns off inside your heart_

_Can you remember what it's like to care?_

_Knees are weak hands are shaking I can't breath…_

Xxx--xxX

I still have that odd smile on my face. I look at the door. I put the kunai down and stand. With my right hand I brush my tears away, and my left hand dangles uselessly. I feel the thick blood gush down my forearm. I pull down my sleeve.

I open the door, that odd smile still in place, I look at the person standing there and I feel as if I am a stranger looking at my body from the outside, and I have no control over my body.

There in the doorway stood Uchiha Sasuke.

We stood in silence for a moment. My clock ticked. The blood dripping from my arm that was hid behind my back dropped to the floor. But we stood still.

His forehead creased as he drew his eyebrows together.

"Dobe, mind if I come in." he said not waiting for an answer and walked into the room and then into the kitchen.

Getting dizzy from blood loss I just smiled, happy my love was in my apartment.

I offered him a seat and sat when he did.

"Naruto, I saw you earlier in your window, I thought I saw you crying…are you ok?" he asked looking down as if ashamed that he cared.

I laughed " as if you cared, Teme." I said, almost breathlessly.

"Are you ok?" he asked again looking up concerned, and placed his arm on my shoulder

"Don't touch me!" I yell and jump up and backed away, still smiling that odd smile.

"Naruto, I…" he said as he stood. It was then he saw the blood dripping down my arm. "Naruto…" he whispered and reached for it.

"No!" I yell again, I feel my smile slip, I can no longer hide my pain.

I back up, watching Sasuke who looked like he had been slapped.

"Sasuke. You hate me. You shouldn't care what I do to my body. Please leave." I say and walk back to my room. When I look over my shoulder I see Sasuke in the doorway.

"Dobe. I do care what you do to your body. I have never once hated you." he said as he walked slowly to me.

"No you don't Sasuke, you don't care if I'm happy." I looked down as I said this.

"Naruto…"

"Yeah that's my name you don't need to keep saying it!" I yelled and grabbed the kunai from my bed.

"Dobe," he said and reached out to grab my hand that held my kunai. "Stop. You don't want to do this."

"Yes, I do. I want to die. I want to leave. I know if I de no one would miss me no one would be sad. I could kill myself and no one would give a frick.

I pulled my hand away from his and pulled it across my wrist slicing not only my skin but also my orange sleeve.

"Naruto stop!" he yelled. He jumped forward and wrapped me in his arms.

"Sasuke…" I said my vision started to tunnel and I could tell I was going to pass out. "sorry about getting blood on your shirt." That's the last I remember before I fell limp in his arms.

A/N: If you want to know what happens next, or if you want a nice yaoi scene you need to review. OK i got the 5 reveiws i wanted. But i dont know if I should stay with Naruto's POV. or switch to Sasuke's POV. Tell me what you think.


	2. You take away the pain

-1A/N: Thanks to all that reviewed. Love you all.

**Still Naruto's P.O.V.**

_Life for you has been less than kind_

_So take a number, stand in line._

_We've all been sorry_

_We've all been hurt_

_But how we survive _

_Is what makes us who we are._

I could feel the edge of consciousness returning to me. I could hear music somewhere in the back round. "_…is what makes us who we are."_

I slowly open my eyes. I'm in my bed, my left arm bandaged. For some unknown reason I brought my right hand up and poked the bandages. A hand reached out and grabbed my right hand. It was just then that I noticed the body laying next to me in my bed.

"Please stop, you dobe." The cold voice I had loved whispered in my ear. I shivered. Warm arms wrapped around me, and I found myself pressed gently against his chest. I closed my eyes.

"What possessed you to do that to yourself?" Sasuke asked, arms tightening protectively.

"I just wanted the pain to stop." I said without thinking.

"That's not going to stop the pain. I would know." I pushed Sasuke away so I could see his face as he finished his sentence.

He sat up and pulled off his shirt. Lacerations covered his chest, clearly self-inflicted.

"Sasuke…" I whisper and reached out my hand to trace a particularly deep scar that covered his heart.

"I made my pain stop. I could make your pain stop too." Sasuke said reaching out a hand to my chin and pulled it up so my eyes locked with his.

I could feel my cheeks warm. I got lost so easily in those coal black eyes.

All I could do was nod.

Xxx--xxX

_So give me the drug _

_Keep me alive _

_Give me what's left of my life._

_Let me go, whoa_

_Pull the plug_

_Let me breath_

_On my own I'm finally free_

_So let me go whoa_

Xxx--xxX

His hand pulled my chin closer to his. His breath caressed my cheeks. I closed my eyes waiting for what I had been longing for all my life.

"Please, Sasuke, stop my pain." I say. That all I needed to say before his lips were on mine.

Fireworks exploded in my head as his softer then velvet lips moved against mine. I nearly laughed when his tongue tentatively flicked against my lips asking for permission to enter. I opened my mouth allowing our tongues to collide.

As we explored each other's mouths Sasuke flipped me and straddled my waist, without breaking the kiss.

He brought his fingers down and slipped them under my shirt. At the same time his very prominent erection brushed against my own growing problem, and amidst the sudden pleasure, I suddenly felt a panic.

Sensing my hesitation Sasuke froze and broke the kiss.

"Are you sure you want this?" he asked searching my wide eyes for anything.

I swallowed nervously "Will it stop the pain?"

"I don't know" he answered honestly looking in my eyes "it will feel good a-and, I uh, love you and I, eh, want you to be happy." he finished and blushed a light pink.

I thought about what he said and my heart soared. I ran my fingers down his chest, along his toned stomach, and started to play with the zipper of his pants.

"I love you Sasuke. You make the pain go away." I see him smile. He seemed to take the words as an order rather then a statement as he leans back down and starts licking and biting my neck.

It feels good, I moan, he slips his hands up my shirt again, running them over every piece of skin he could. I lift my hands from his chest so he can take off my shirt.

He teases one of my nipples making my already erect member even more painful.

He trailed kisses down my neck, down my chest, down my stomach stopping when he got to my pants. I was lost in the pleasure of his mouth, I could barely keep my eyes open as he began to unbutton my pants and take them off with my boxers.

He stopped all movement and froze looking down a me. He stood still for a long moment. I writhed beneath his piercing gaze. I wine and touch his stomach. I put and say "Sasuke, its not fair I want to see you too."

He laughed and removed himself of the offending cloths.

I sucked in a breath, shocked at the shear size of him. I fidgeted as I thought of how it would feel inside me.

"Are you sure you want this Naruto?" Sasuke asked again. I just nodded.

A/N: Ha ok so I am going to write more to the story: more cutting more angsting and more YAOI. So if you want me to post more of this story I want 5 reviews for THIS chapter. Or 15 reviews for both, depending on how you look at it. So yeah REVIEW.


	3. Goodbye

A/N: thanks to everyone that reviewed! I LOVE YOU GUYS, hahaha. Anyway…yeah the lyrics in this chapter are from Animal I have become, I'm not sure if the lyrics are right or not, so yeah. Sorry it took so long to put up. Enjoy!

**STILL Naruto's P.O.V**

_I can't escape this hell_

_So many times I've tried _

_But I'm still caged inside_

_Someone save me from this nightmare_

_I can't control myself_

_So what if you can see_

_The darker side of me_

_No one can ever change this animal I have become_

_**My bare feet padded on the ground as I ran through the woods outside Konoha. My breath came in gasps as my chest constricted with the pressure of running, fore some reason I was running as if my life depended on it.**_

_**Something is behind me. I can see the shadow as I run through the seemingly endless woods.**_

_**Suddenly the scene changes, I'm young again. I'm running through an open field. I see kids my own age playing soccer. I'm running to join in, it looks like fun. All fear of the shadow is gone.**_

_**As I come over all the kids freeze, they turn and glare at me, I slow, then stop.**_

_**"Monster." I hear them whisper, all glaring a hatred undeserved. "Go away, we don't want to play with a monster."**_

_**The whispers get louder and louder. "Demon, go away. No one wants you. Monster. Freak."**_

_**The kids form a line and come closer now whispering again, but whispering vicious threats. Terrified, scared, and hurting I turn to run.**_

_**The scene shifts again. I'm in my house pulling a razor arose my wrist, the blood gushed too thick, too much, a deep darkness swallows me, I'm falling back flying in the darkness. Tears come to my eyes, I'm finally free from the hell I was in.**_

_**My back hits something hard and the blackness disappears and the world came into focus. I stood up. I was on the edge of the third Hokage's head, looking over the city.**_

_**A sound came from behind me. I turned bracing myself for the worst.**_

_**At the base of the mountain was Sasuke, he was glaring with the most hatred I had ever seen.**_

_**"Sas-Sasuke…" I whispered baking up a little, feet slightly over the edge.**_

_**"You stupid dobe." Sasuke whispered taking a step towards me. "I used you and you didn't even know it. I just wanted sex and you gave me it, now I have no need for you."**_

_**Tears came to my eyes again. "b-but I-I love you."**_

_**I felt a tug at the back of my shirt. Something was pulling me off the cliff.**_

_**I yelped as I fell back. I closed my eyes and waited to fall to my welcome death, but there was something pulling in the opposite direction, keeping me in place. I opened my eyes. I way lying in midair.**_

_**Sasuke walked to the edge of the cliff and knelt down. I reached my hand out and said, "save me Sasuke."**_

_**He smirked and put his hand to my chest. " I don't need you anymore I got what I wanted." he said and pushed. The force that was holding me up, stopped and I fell…down…down…my screams of terror only reaching Sasuke who smiled and turned away.**_

Xxx--xxX

My eyes flew open. My heart was pounding in terror and agony. Tears streaked down my whiskered face. The room was dark.

I t took a moment for me to realized where I was as the terror left, and the agony of heartbreak took over. I was in my bed, naked, an arm was wrapped around my waist. I looked to the sleeping avenger, equally naked.

The dream seemed so real, and I felt so betrayed.

I slipped out from under his arm. Dressed quickly. Turned the radio on softly. And left. Not knowing where I was going.

A/N: Sorry its so short, i like to try and leave on cliff hangers. Ha, so if you want more, REVEIW, i will only right more if i get so many


	4. End

A/N: So sorry it took so long to put this up. My laptop crashed so I couldn't get to the internet and It was a long time till I could get to a computer and then I forgot I even didn't finish it so I had to write it, and then type it. Then I went with my dad for 2 weeks and couldn't get on the computer. But hopefully you'll forgive my lateness and if you haven't or if you want to again REVIEW. The songs are Watch Me Bleed and Star Crossed Lovers by Scary kids Scaring kids,

**Naruto's P.O.V.**

_The silence keeps it easy  
keeps you safe for the moment.  
As you're walking away  
your foot steps get louder.  
All you needed was time  
now time will destroy us._

It will all be over and here we are  
we're stuck inside this salted earth together.  
You'll pierce my lungs  
my limbs go numb  
as my colors fade out.

What ecstasy. Pulling the razor blade over my arms scratching the already scarred skin of my forearm.

Relief swelled as I closed my eyes riding out the pain until I couldn't feel it at all. In my head I laugh, people made a big deal about the pain, but they're just pussys, reserving to get their fixes from sex, or drugs, or alcohol, or cigarettes, you know, stuff less damaging.(pause for laughter at my sarcasm)

I look down at my arms and for a second terror rushes through me. Like I'm at the top of a huge roller coaster and I'm so high I can see everything and am about to head straight down to the ground and everything in my being is telling me I'm going to die yet I am completely safe.

I watch the blood pool from the deep cut and fall to the thighs of my crossed legs . After a few drops land I grab a paper towel and whipped the blood away and put it to my arm again. 12 new cuts already covered my arm my last one deepening an already bloody cut. Ouch.

I could barely feel my forearm.

15 minutes and 2 cuts later the bleeding stopped. Dry blood was on my legs, hands, and covered the little skin between cuts. I sighed, gotta go clean up my arms. I think and sat back. I glanced up at the sky guessing the time to be 12:55. Damn too late. I glanced around my campsite. A bag that I had filled before I left the apartment had clothes in it. A fire burned in the center. A bucket of water a few feet away.

I lay back, using the bag as a pillow and thought about what happened In the last few hours. Waking from the nightmare, turning on the radio softly to hide my footsteps, packing and running as fast and as long as my legs would take me until I was here surrounded by woods with the distant sounds of the river where I got my water. I was only a few miles from the town but that was as far as I could get. I need to sleep to be ready for tomorrow.

I pulled my sleeves back down and got up put out the flames with the water lay back down and quickly dose off.

Xxx—xxX

**Finally Sasuke's P.O.V.**

_Star crossed lovers; we do what we want to.  
Some learn the hard way,  
We all learn through consequence.  
I say if the futures been drawn out then nobodys living.  
I won't give you up, love, so fate can have its way.  
Its way._

If the stars say that you couldn't love me,  
Are you telling me that you would listen?  
If the words make their way from your mouth,  
Don't ask my permission,  
All is forgiven.

Xxx—xxX

That stupid blond dobe. I open myself up to him, tell him secrets no one knows and how does he repay me… runs away.

Impulsive baka. Why would he go?

I woke to the radio playing a song that drew me awake.

"_It will all be over and here we are  
we're stuck inside this salted earth together.  
You'll pierce my lungs  
my limbs go numb  
as my colors fade out"_

Reminded me of my love I saved last night. I look down to watch my Naruto, but he's not there. I shot up. I look around the apartment. No Naruto. Thinking he was hungry I look at his favorite ramen shop. No Naruto. Maybe he was training. No. Sakura's. No. Kakashi's. No. Iruka's. No. Tsuneda's. No. No. No. No. No.

Naruto's gone.

I sit on a bench, lace my fingers together and place them in front of my mouth and look to the ground.

Realizing where I was I looked up. I am at the place I was when I glanced up and saw Naruto. I look back to that window but I don't see Naruto. A sudden urge swelled and I find myself sitting on Naruto's bed again. I pick up the kunai the Naruto used to cut himself with. I cross my legs and stare at it. I trace my fingers over it again and again.

The dobe really is stupid, I think to myself, does he think this will stop his pain? Why the hell did he run away, what possessed him to hide when I showed him love?

I tilt the weapon so the sunlight that shines through the window made it flash. Kakashi and Iruka were out searching for the blond and I am here. Alone again.

What does he feel when he drags this across his wrists? I place the sharpness to my own. I wonder what made his crave to do it. I know what made me claw my chest until every pore was gushing out a red river of blood. But what did my blond feel when he did this? I put full force to the kunai and pulled it across cutting flesh and tearing my arm guard. I flinched. It did feel good. I look at my stained arm guard. I wonder if it would feel good a second time.

I place the kunai again. The door to the apartment crashed open with a BANG. I hide my arm as Kakashi yelled "we found him!"

I jumped up with my arm still behind my back. Kakashi walked up to me with what I could only guess was a smile under his mask.

"He was sleeping in a clearing a few miles outside of town. He is fine just tired. Iruka is bringing him up now." He said to me then disappeared in a puff of smoke.

I stood there frozen for a moment. I couldn't believe Naruto was back. Joy flooded me but a pang of pain shot through my arm and a small amount of panic trickled in and made me move fast.

I washed off the line of blood that flowed from the cut and bandaged up it. Just as I finished when the door opened again and in walked Iruka with a sleeping Naruto in his arms.

"Here put him on his bed." I whispered lifting the sheets so Iruka could put my blond in his bed and covered him.

"He's fine should wake up soon. Come find me if you need anything." He whispered back and walked back out the door.

I stood in the archway that separated his room from the rest of the apartment and watched him while he slept.

I wondered what I would do when the blond awoke. I thought about my wrist and wondered what Naruto would say if he saw it.

How dare he run away and leave me like that what the hell was he thinking.

I took off the sleeping boy and glared at the floor.

A few minutes passed and my thoughts got a little darker. Was I just a one night stand to him. I thought, was I just some fling to get a high off of?

My scowl deepened.

A movement on the bed turned my attention back to the blond who was slowly waking up. He sat up eyes locking on mine; he sucked in a breath and backed up into the head board.

I knew it was a reaction to my glare but I didn't try to remove it from my face.

I stepped to the foot of the bed and asked the first thing that came to mind. "Why do you run when I show you nothing but love?"

I climbed on to the food of the bad and sat on my knees. Naruto just sat there and looked at me through huge sapphire eyes. I could tell he was afraid to say anything. "Naruto why did you run?" I walk toward him on my hands and knees. His eyes begin to water and I know it was because there was still anger in my face and voice.

He was sitting as close to the headboard as he could and he drew in his legs and hugged them to his chest.

I relaxed my face and put as much kindness into my voice as I could but it still sounded a little cold.

"Why Naruto? Tell me why."

As I came close enough I put my hand under his knees and pulled him toward me quickly. Caught off guard he laid there and didn't move. I climbed up so my body was parallel to his leaning on my elbow with my face a few inches away from his.

I ran my fingers through his hair and he looked up at me with watery eyes. Seeing the blond under me, looking up at me with his beautiful eyes, and memories of last night made my member harden, but I pushed my lust aside and, still brushing my fingers through his hair I asked again. "Why?"

He blushed and for the first time since he woke up broke eye contact and looked at my chest and then closed his eyes. Tears leaked out from under the closed lids. I took the hand that wasn't going through the blond locks and brushed the tears away. I leaned down and pressed my lips to his.

"Promise me you won't do it again" I whispered against his lips. He whimpered. "I promise, Sasuke."

"Ok, then we will talk about it in the morning." I said and began a night of passion.

THE END

A/N: Finally finished it. The ending sucked but I tried. Can't guarantee when the next story will be but I'll try to write more. Please review if you haven't.


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